"Higgins (sings)
Come to the ball!
Come to the ball!
It wouldn’t be fair
To the men who are there
To deny them
All the dreams you’ll supply them.
There even may be
A dashing marquis,
Who, feature by feature,
Will swear you’re the creature
He always prayed for,
Single stayed for.
If you aren’t there,
His complete despair
Will be painful to see.
So
Come to the ball,
Come to the ball...
Come to the ball,
Come to the ball...
With me!
Consider the Lord
So frantic’ly bored,
He’s leaving his kin and
Becoming an Indian Lancer;
Hoping danger’s the answer.
Your innocent glow,
Will dazzle him so,
That glancing at you will
Restore his illusions and,
as he glances,
farewell, lances!
Should he die, alas,
At the Khyber Pass,
What a loss it would be!
Come to the ball,
Come to the ball...
(spoken)
How often I’ve thought how frightfully exciting it would be to take a human being and change her into quite a different human being by creating a new speech for her. Why, it’s filling up the deepest gulf that separates class from class and soul from soul. She matters immensely! It seems to me incredible that a chance was finally given me.
(sings)
I can see you now
In a gown by Madam Worth.
When you enter ev’ry monocle will crash!
I can see you now,
Like a goddess come to earth,
I can hear the ladies’ teeth begin to gnash.
Little chaps’ll wish they were Atlas;
A queen will want you for her son.
Portly men’ll wish they were fatless;
And the married men will wish they were ‘un’.
What a triumph! Through and through!
What a moment! What a coup!
And off by a wall,
Unnoticed by all,
A man with a smile
You could see for a mile
Will be standing,
His dimensions expanding.
The pride in his eyes
Will double their size,
As sweetly and neatly
You somehow completely
Electrify them,
Lorelei them!
Search the world around,
There could not be found,
Someone prouder than he."