[ti:Could You Please Oblige Us]
[ar:Noel Coward and Orchestra]
[al:Noel Coward]
[by:]
[offset:0]
[00:00.00]Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun? - Noel Coward and Orchestra/Gertrude Lawrence
[00:06.18]Colonel Montmorency who was in Calcutta in ninety-two
[00:12.37]Emerged from his retirement for the War
[00:15.47]
[00:16.33]He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw
[00:19.71]
[00:20.23]But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a Corps
[00:24.24]Poor Colonel Montmorency thought considering all the wars he'd faught
[00:29.24]The Home Guard was his job to do or die
[00:31.65]
[00:33.18]But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears
[00:37.42]He wrote the following letter to the Minister of Supply
[00:40.76]
[00:41.59]Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun
[00:45.05]
[00:45.59]Or failing that a hand grenade will do
[00:48.31]
[00:49.66]We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition
[00:52.93]
[00:53.64]And Major Huss has a arquebus that was used at Waterloo
[00:56.86]
[00:57.96]With the Vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave
[01:01.12]
[01:01.71]It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome
[01:04.17]
[01:05.79]So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun
[01:09.79]The Home Guard might as well go home
[01:12.30]
[01:13.94]Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun
[01:17.13]
[01:17.78]We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots
[01:20.20]
[01:21.87]Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment
[01:25.71]And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots
[01:29.11]
[01:29.84]On Sunday's mock invasion Captain Clark was heard to say
[01:33.80]He hadn't even got a brush and comb
[01:36.17]
[01:37.82]So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun
[01:41.81]The Home Guard might as well go home
[01:44.48]
[01:50.12]Colonel Montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land
[01:53.95]To drive them back with skill and armoured force
[01:56.60]
[01:57.90]He realised his army should be mechanised of course
[02:01.30]
[02:01.93]But somewhere inside experience cried "My Kingdom for a horse"
[02:06.91]
[02:07.67]Poor Colonel Montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride
[02:13.38]To tackle his superiors again
[02:16.55]
[02:17.37]Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike
[02:21.51]He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain
[02:24.95]
[02:25.90]Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun
[02:29.40]
[02:29.98]We need it very badly I'm afraid
[02:32.98]
[02:33.97]Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver
[02:37.39]
[02:38.15]But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid
[02:41.28]
[02:42.24]In course of operations planned for Friday afternoon
[02:45.48]
[02:46.28]Our orders are to storm the Hippodrome
[02:48.50]
[02:50.26]So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun
[02:54.40]The Home Guard might as well go home
[02:57.04]
[02:58.53]Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun
[03:01.78]
[03:02.40]The lack of one is wounding to our pride
[03:05.81]
[03:06.44]Last night we found the cutest little German parachutist
[03:09.60]
[03:10.58]He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried
[03:13.92]
[03:14.58]We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching to Berlin
[03:17.94]
[03:18.57]We'd almost be ashamed of it in Rome
[03:21.72]
[03:22.72]So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun
[03:26.15]
[03:26.72]The Home Guard might as well go home