[00:02.32]Sosmokers Thank you guys Just smoke away huh
[00:08.18]Don't worry about us hakay
[00:11.96]How many smokers do we have here tonight
[00:13.42]Smokers (smattering of acknowledgment)
[00:17.28]Hoo boy Listen to that energy they can pump out at
[00:18.74]Will hah (cough hack wheeze) Thank you guys
[00:32.99]That was a valiant effort on your parts Listen to this
[00:38.82]How many non smokers do we have here tonight
[00:40.87]Non smokers
[00:45.33]Hear that Bunch of whining little maggots aren't they
[00:53.29]Obnoxious self righteous slugs I'd quit smoking
[00:57.91]If I didn't think I'd become one of them
[00:59.43]
[01:03.55]The worst kind of non smokers are the ones
[01:05.46]Where you're smoking and they just walk up to ya
[01:13.74]I always say Shoot you're lucky you don't smoke
[01:19.61]T's a helluva cough dude I smoke all day
[01:21.63]And don't cough like that Maybe you were conceived
[01:25.17]With a weak sperm Maybe your dad was jacking off
[01:29.10]And your mom sat on it at the last second
[01:34.80]Did I overreact Didn't did I I think that's kinda cruel
[01:40.06]I'm smoking and you come up coughing at me Jesus
[01:43.80]Do you go up to crippled people dancing too you f**ks
[01:48.62]Well hey Mr Wheelchair What's the problem
[01:51.97]Come on Ironside Race ya you f**king sadist
[01:57.72]I'll smoke I'll cough
[01:59.44]I'll get the tumors I'll die Deal Thank you America
[02:08.50]People say I it's not that it's the secondary smoke
[02:12.93]It's not the smoke that you smoke but the smoke
[02:14.81]That comes out of you That's called secondary smoke
[02:17.28]And that's not good smoke just
[02:18.35]Because it came out of you
[02:19.94]Shut the f**k off up right now Goddammit
[02:23.74]If I don't smoke there's gonna be secondary bullets
[02:26.38]Coming yer way Ya understand this
[02:28.21]I'm f**king tense Alright
[02:30.93]Thank you I've been on a
[02:33.41]Flying saucer tour for three months ok
[02:38.06]Thank you Hope you don't mind if I just enjoy my cig
[02:43.93]I love when people in New York City
[02:45.30]Complain about your smoking
[02:46.66]I don't that great These people are standing ankle deep
[02:50.42]In dog links straddling a dead guy you know
[02:53.10]Apparently my cigarette's f**king up the delicate balance
[02:55.25]Of nature here
[02:58.81]Oh this is bothering you oh
[03:01.58]I'm sorry let me go over here
[03:02.95]To this pile of bum dung and put this outthere
[03:07.20]We go Restore New York to that pristine state
[03:11.30]We know it exists inif it
[03:12.97]Weren't for my godawful cigarette
[03:19.22]How much do you smoke a day dude
[03:21.80]Pack and a half you little puss
[03:25.10]Why don't you just put a dress on and swish around for us
[03:29.87]Pack and a halfI smoke a pack and a half Makes me ill
[03:36.80]I go through two lighters a day
[03:43.14]Dude I'm starting to feel it
[03:46.78]Uhh sh*t But I do have this big fear right
[03:50.36]Doing smoking jokes in my act Showing up five years
[03:53.51]From now going
[03:54.64]Good evening everybody Remember me Y'all were right
[04:05.18]Smoking bad you ever see that Lemme tell you something
[04:19.58]If you're smoking out of a hole in your neck
[04:25.72]I'd think about Quitting
[04:29.92]I would And that's just me you know
[04:32.44]See once again I'm not being stringent
[04:34.14]With the rule of thumb
[04:36.85]What's cool is every pack has a different Surgeon
[04:39.01]General's warning Idn't that great Mine say Warning
[04:43.17]Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth f**k it
[04:47.78]Hahaha Found my brand Just don't get the ones
[04:53.09]That say lung cancer y'know Shop around man Yeah
[04:57.25]Gimme a carton of 'low birth weights
[05:01.79]What the f**k do I care
[05:05.35]Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide
[05:07.59]Well so does my car and it still f**king runs so
[05:15.59]See I smoke I don't drink I don't do ***
[05:18.15]You know can I smoke Can I Like a f**king fiend I can
[05:22.15]