I've been very poorly but now I feel fine
I've been out today for the very first time
I felt like a lad as I walked down the road
Then I met old jones and he said well I'm blowed
My word you do look queer my word you do look queer
Oh dear you look dreadful you've had a near shave
You look like a man with one foot in the grave'
I said bosh l'm better it's true I've been ill'
He said 'I'm delighted you're better but still
I wish you'd a thousand for me in your will
My word you do look queer'
That didn't improve me it quite put me back
Still I walked farther on and I met cousin jack
He looked at me hard and he murmured'gee whiz
It's like him it can't be it isn't it is
By gosh who'd have thought it well well I declare
I'd never have known you except for your hair
My word you do look queer my word you do look queer
Your faces are all sunk and your colour's all gone
Your neck's very scraggy still you're getting on
How old are you now thriy five emm that's true
Your father died that age your mother did too
Well the black clothes I wore then'll come in for you
My word you do look queer'
That really upset me I felt quite cast down
But I tried to buck up and then up came old brown
He stared at me hard then he solemnly said
'You shouldn't be out you should be home in bed
I heard you were bad well I heard you were gone
You look like a corpse with an overcoat on
My word you do look queer my word you do look queer
You'd best have a brandy before you drop dead'
So pale as a sheet I crawled in the king's head'
The barmaid sobbed 'oh you poor fellow' and then
She said 'on the slate you owe just one pound ten
You'd better pay up we shan't see you again
My word you do look queer'
My knees started knocking I did feel so sad
Then brown said don't die in a pub it looks bad
He said 'come with me I'll show you what to do
Now I've got a friend who'll be useful to you
He led me to black's undertaking depot
And black with some crepe round his hat said hello
'My word you do look queer my word you do look queer
Now we'll fix you up for a trifling amount
Now what do you say to a bit on account'
I said'I'm not dying he said don't say that
My business of late has been terribly flat
But I'm telling my wife she can have that new hat
My word you do look queer'
Well I crawled in the street and I murmured' I'm done'
Then up came old jenkins and shouted oh son
'My word you do look well my word you do look well
You're looking fine and in the pink'
I shouted am I come and have a drink
You've put new life in me I'm sounder than a bell
By gad there's life in the old dog yet
My word I do feel well'